This is going to be a short post [yes I do know what that means].

I had major issues the first year I came to live in Kuala Lumpur mixing a little too much with certain quarters. Let’s say it got ugly and leave it at that. But that is not what this post is about, it’s about that gel that holds everything together even though at times, I do feel I should do away with family ties altogether due to the constant drama [yes every family has it I know :P].

What is it that holds everything together? Cousins.

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No matter what, no matter when, no matter how- we somehow always ensured that we were OK. We always ensured that our relationship flourished, it grew-regardless. Although I don’t see my cousins much, as much as I would like too, I know deep inside we all know that we can rely on each other when it does matter. I know that I can rely on them, that they won’t let anything affect us being family.

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                                If nothing else, I’m blessed to have my cousins.

p.s- to da cousins yg tak der gambar jgn marah yer, tht’s all I could find-most picture ripped off cousin punya FB walls!

With all the drama going-on with families these days [mine-included], it makes you kind of wonder about what is really happening around you. It really makes you think of things way ahead of your time. It makes you question, what would you do.

The thing is when such a thing appears to me, be it in my mind, through a conversation or even when I see the realities occurring right in front of me- the answer is always the same and it always will be. There will be no question of economics, comfort, convenience or any such thing because like the post says, it is a given! There should be no question at all.

What am I rambling about? Parents.

As I see my grandparents getting older (hitting their 80s and older) I see all the squabbles, the hesitance of their children in taking care of their own parents and it makes me really sad. I mean imagine years from now, you too will be in that position. I just can’t fathom how anyone can even consider, even for a moment whether they should or should not take care of their parents.

Imagine if your parents thought that about you too. Now that would be real COOL don’t you think. Nah, my daughter is crying too much, my son shits too much…she started writing on the walls again, she keeps asking me questions and bugging me. If our parents threw us out then, we would not be where we are. 

Now, don’t get on your high horse and tell me it is different. Frankly speaking, it is not. When your parents reach that age, they will fall back into that cycle, they will become kids again. The question is will you care for them, as they cared for you?

For me, it is a given. Should it not be for you too?

 

Since Mother’s Day is tomorrow, today’s post will be on the top 10 things I would like to cultivate from my mum. Some are things that require time and effort, some are things that take years to build, some are things that might never be learned, some are things that comes with time and maturity- but all of these are skills I’d love to have if not today, one day.

So the top 10 are 🙂 Drum roll please!

1. Courage

2. Intelligence

3. Awesome cooking skills- mum says it comes with a lot of practice and passion.

4. Ability to forgive- mum is like a durian [appears to be very hard on the outside but super mushy inside-forgives so easily]

5.  Grounded

6.  Resourceful

7. Persuasive

8. Run a household

9. Tend to a garden

10. Be as close as she is…. to my daughter/son [if lah]

Living practically half of her life alone[my dad works overseas], taking care of three kids, holding up the fort at home and caring for our furry friends, she has been the torch of the Withaneachi household.  She was always the picture of calmness, strength, love and composure.

She never had it easy, we had to go through a lot as a family and had many incidences of ugliness reigning down on us at our home many a time from extended family members especially when my dad was away and some assumed we were left unprotected, little did they know mum is a warrior and nothing could shake her… My dad is Sinhalse Buddhist and mum Indian Catholic. Need I say more? 

During our younger days, she kept us in check, ensuring we were disciplined, held steadfast life principles while always reminding us that she had our backs and she believed in all that we were.

It isn’t easy being a women. It isn’t easy being expected to be strong all the time. It isn’t easy having to care for 3 kids with minimal help. It isn’t easy to be the picture of composure while carrying out all this task.

It was surely WAS not easy,..

When….

I got stuck in a Samsonite suitcase[I was probably around 2 or 3 yrs of age] as my naughty brother decided to lock me in just for fun and scramble the codes[my dad was again working overseas]- but she was calm, she told me to not be afraid-she spoke to me and calmly got me out of that scary predicament.

I got sick and starting having fits, without warning the sickness would attack- she would have to stay by my bedside during those long nights to make sure I was ok, to ensure I was safe.

I had to go for MRI scans and my mum had to hold my hand and tell me it was ok.

My brother had to go for a eye operation and he was barely 6 months old to correct his squinting.

My elder brother kept falling in drains and cutting his head open every single birthday…when mum had to pick him up and wash away the gushing blood, rushing him to the hospital each time.

She had to call my dad who was overseas to tell him that their son had been taken away from them…

She had to accept the fact that her son was gone and yet hold the fort, take care of arrangements and continue to care for us remaining siblings-she had to be strong even then..

She  shared my tears when my heart was broken,and helped me recover, piece by piece. She was my pillar of strength, my guardian angel.

 

This woman of steel has always been there at every point of my life and I always wish I could do more for her. I wish I could take away the pain she has to endure from all the trials and tribulations she has gone through in her life. I wish I could make it all better.

I aspire to be like you ma, to have her strength,courage, determination, intelligence…. to be the woman that she is gorgeous inside and out… I aspire to be everything she is…I wish that one day if I’m privilliged enough to be a mother, I will be at least half of what she is because she really brought us up well.

She made me who I am today, all I am and for that I thank her with all my heart and soul. I’m glad you are my best friend.

If I had even half of your strength and courage…I’d be quite a woman.

Love you ..

The word itself, fallin’ or proper English falling, brings imagery of fear rather than wholesome goodness, doesn’t it?

When I see the words, fallin’ I imagine the action of being pushed through this supernatural force, with no sense of control whatsoever over the situation ,let alone the frequency nor the impact of such a fall. But the intensity of that sense of no control can be very exhilarating I guess, that’s why we thrive on activities borne out of fear, don’t we.

That explains sports like bungee jumping doesn’t it. I mean why in the hell would you strap yourself to something and volunteer to fall miles and miles upside down only attached by a little spring thingy! Doesn’t make sense does it? But somehow such actions or force give us such pleasure, such exhilaration …..and fallin’ is no different, OR is it?

Fallin.

What is it really? The act of fallin can be so mysterious, its similar to fatal attraction except that, in this sort of  circumstances, it happens and continues to occur, each time with a higher intensity, until you have completely succumb to it, it is a more like a  journey. It certainly does not happen in the course of a day nor a night but how long really is determined by how fast your mind and heart works together to build that emotions brick by brick…not to forget the existence of prior dungeons, like you very own Great Wall of China. I mean if you have a Great Wall of China barrier within your mind and heart, the process of fallin (still happens whether you like it or not) will be a little more complicated as it seeps through, breaking that wall and its many barriers that seeks to keep any foreign agent out.

Why the concept of Fallin’ has come to mind all of a sudden?  Yesterday I visited my kids back at college and there were listening to Backstreet Boys and it just brought back a lot of memories from 97, the time of which life was easy, no complications ….

when life was just as it is, there were no barriers, when people were just people and it did not matter where they did come from…and who you did fall for, was pretty much simplistic.

Yes, you have guessed it- Backstreet Boy’s “As Long as You Love Me”

The lyrics itself;

As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you’re from
Don’t care what you did
As long as you love me

Listening to Backstreet Boys as I was growing up…in my teens I believed every single lyric (pretty standard for a growing up kid I guess). A lot of how and what I thought of life was formed with a little help from my boy band factor. In a way, lyrics like this is pretty direct thoughts on love on a whole. The whole idea that love isn’t based on place, career, job titles, status, ranks,riches was rather appealing to a young kid building her ideals as she went along, hence why a lot of my ideals are to some [not realistic] in this day and age.

Anyway not to stray from the topic of fallin’, let’s revert. Why I mentioned this song? Simple really, when you are fallin’ [my take on it, that is..] isn’t this lyrics pretty much a guidebook to the art of it?

I mean if you are indeed fallin for someone, it should not really matter should it? Any of those ideals should not even take part let alone take center stage? I mean how can you classify it as fallin, if you plan every single moment of it to the execution of that exact moment? If you get what I mean…

Well let me break it down for you. When you fall for someone, it is not supposed to be arranged in a perfect setting, the perfect symmetrical face cut, musical accompaniments among other things. It just suppose to happen each time with a higher intensity then the prior moment, it suppose to be magical not planned. If you are going to choose, dissect and pick, every single moment  to the moment of impact, how the hell is that considered falling?

To me its pretty arranged, possibly for glamorous purposes the tag, fallin is added.

You don’t choose who you fall for …I kid you not. It just happens, out of your control and that is what makes it so powerful and magical.

I hope for the lot of you that have not yet experienced it just yet….that when it does, you allow it to happen. When, how, why are questions that I can’t answer nor will you. When you fall, it will just happen, not something you can anticipate, but if you do and when you do, trust me the feeling is earth-shaking and if you let it work the way it should, it can be one of the most fulfilling journeys of your entire life.

I’m not saying that it going to lead to marriage and babies but what I can say is that it allows you the privilege to experience something truly magical, for most people,they only allow it to happen to them once because it basically about letting everything go, with no questions ask, most of us only manage to do that successfully once in our lives.

~ perhaps in part 2 we will explore the journey itself 😛 from my lenses.

Dear God

Posted: March 28, 2012 in Freedom of Expression

A PRAYER FOR PATIENCE

Dear God,

You know I’m not exactly the most patient person ever. Ok, fine..I don’t have even an ounce of the patient(patience:P) genes, if there was any given to us that is…

I’d like to ask your favor this time around.. to just ..you know help me with this little problem I have of wanting what I want when I want. In other words, like NOW.

God…

I need to have more patience. Teaching has given me that but it only works on extreme situations and in class. Proof?

Well, god…

 I haven’t pshycially hurt anyone in class or slapped them yet, have I ? 🙂

So god, could you please teach me how to be patient?

How to be calm and collected?

Even when I do have moments of being calm, collected and patience(yeah even that!) at times, it goes as fast as it arrived…

So God,

Please forgive all my tresspasses, all my nonsense, all my absoulete ignorance that has put me here in the first place and please teach me how to be patient.

How to wait patiently for things that are good…how to patiently enjoy moments that come with it and savor each and everything in its path.

How to understand that each person has a different pace and they don’t necessarily have to dance to my tune, all the time!and not to mention,how to resist the urge the force them to comply or perish in the process of being apart of my life..

Could you do that for me God?  Could you? Please?

Written 6 months ago-

 

Would like to thank god for giving me that patience that I craved, truly blessed and loved.

If you change your mind, I’m the first in line Honey

I’m still free , take a chance on me

If you need me, let me know, gonna be around

If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down

If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown

Honey I’m still free Take a chance on me

Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie

If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance. We often told numerous times in our life to just take that chance. Go out there, I mean what do you have to loose? If you have not accomplish anything yet, what’s there to loose? It applies in every facets of our lives from our careers, education and even our love life.

But the question is do we take that chance? Do you take that chance?

Taking chances, sounds easy enough. Simple enough really. You just go out there and seize the day, seize the moment, seize whatever comes your way. But is it really that simple? Is taking chances that easy? Is there no consequences in putting yourself out there?

If I say no, I’d be pulling your leg most definitely. Come on, how can there be no consequences when you put yourself out there.

It is like being naked. Being vulnerable. Putting your guard down.

Consequences will always be present. What you got to ask yourself really is if that chance is worth taking? Is it really? Are you taking that chance for yourself or because someone else wants you to?

How that chance is taken and how it will work or proceed is entirely up to you…I’m not saying that taking chances will result in having a positive outcome nor am I saying that it will guarantee happiness, money or even success.

That is the thing about taking chances. It involves a lot of risk.

It might leave you more bent out of shape that you were before. It might make you the happiest women/men alive. It might rob you off your self-confidence for a bit. It might make you see the world in a different light. It might take you on an adventure you would have never ever been open to before. It might open doors to the impossible.

The thing is that you won’t know which one of these possibilities will be your outcome.

What I can tell you is that taking a chance on something or someone is not easy, especially if you have been through a lot on your own, if you have been jaded in the past for whatever reason…it sure as hell ain’t easy and anyways saying it is ..is bullshitting you to the core.

Will you regret taking that chance, I can’t say. I’m not you nor are you me.

At times, I do wonder whether taking chances is a good idea because it can leave you freezing in the cold, gasping for air-wishing you had never crossed or walked that path. You might walk to the middle of the bridge to take that chance will the other person might leave you hanging mid-way. It isn’t entirely up to you. But what I do know is that…

…In that smallest gap of a moment, I think of all the wonderful things I did experience. while taking that path towards my chance and I feel maybe it was worth it after all. Even if it does hurt now.

I mean would you rather leave it to the universe to decide?  I wouldn’t.

ABBA  did set the record, years ago…

 

 

 

Do me and yourself a favor and check out David, not only can he sing and completely mesmerize you, he can make you laugh till you roll on the floor. Ordinary people, him? I think not 🙂

Why is it really like that, huh?

Sure beats me.

You know for instance when you get up from bed and hit your leg against the steel frame,only to leave you with throbbing pain for the next few minutes and somehow everything else kinda takes a similar course.

That would be the same day your car would break down, the business deal will fall through, a long awaited appointment would be canceled and the list goes on. Some say it’s sheer bad luck, people who follow the secret will say you put yourself in that path while some of us would just settle with this old proverb;
when it rains,it pours

Sucky ain’t it. So should we follow the secret? I mean I have tried it and to a certain extent, it does make a difference, I guess.

It calms you down,makes you more patient, provides you with time to re-evaluate your situation without blowing your top, among other things.

Hence, giving you that space and clear thoughts for what you intend to do,later in that day or time frame.

But it ain’t easy to practice the secret, it’s a lot of faith, lot of belief in all that can be.

What I do not get is how this often occurs to the best of people? The people who kill themselves working hard for their bosses, generous people, kind people, people who follow the rules, people who have a conscience, people who have principles,people who basically follow the rules of society!

Why does it rain and pour? Does it not pay to be good? Often it does cross my mind and then I’m reminded that.. This is what makes people like us different, beautiful in and out,stronger, more confident and basically just the way we are.

Although I might question it very now and then I do believe that god has a plan for us, a plan for us all, for those who have had to weather storms and have come out soaking, yet still willing to brave the rain each time.

Yes, he has a plan for you and for me, you just wait and see:)

For it will be glorious.. For when it does rain the next time around it will an abundance of grace.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

God bless, good night:)

Posted: March 9, 2012 in Inspiration, Malaysia, Past Experiences, Real Life Drama, Society
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Part 1

The word itself, brings the notion of nothing good. Why so? Simply because the attraction might deem to be unproductive, not good in the eyes of society or worse still detrimental to the well being of your soul.  But today I ain’t here to discuss or preach about how you should stay away from fatal attractions because the thing is you do not choose who you are attracted to (for me anyways), it just happens for a myriad of reasons.

The question is what to do when it does…and how the hell do you remove yourself intact from this fatal attraction that threatens your sanity.

But before getting there, let’s explore a little on fatal attraction. I am by no means an expert on the matter book wise but trust me, if you want to know someone who gets attract to lethal things, things that could possibly kill you either spiritually, emotionally or literally, I’m THE woman 🙂 (got that right this time, did I not?)

The things about attraction is that it happens so swiftly, it sweeps you like how the wind blows by and you lose your hat…It is so subtle yet so powerful that it almost impossible to avoid the moment of which the inception of this attraction begins… The fact that it is so subtle does not ring any alarm bells in your mind, no not at all. I mean hey..if you see fire- you ain’t going to run towards it- unless your Superman of course or your paid to run in to burning buildings for a living.

As I was saying… the problem here about this sort of attraction is that it disguises itself as something very harmless, so harmless than you might not have a clue that it is potent at all so much so you indulge yourself and allow to be around such company for long periods of time and wham!!!!!! before you know it, your hooked!

I mean here you were living your life …you know, minding your own business and here comes this wave that sweeps you over and hits you when you least expect it. I mean its subtle, its calm, its almost relaxing and then out of nowhere it’s stuck on you. So, bottom line is that your hooked.

You are like a junkie that needs his or her drugs that in this case comes in the form of the person’s smile, voice, jokes..the person’s company. I mean your mind is telling you that, it is possibly not a good idea at all but you know how it is, the heart wants what the heart wants. While your mind decides to completely ignore or stay as far as possible, the heart starts scheming on plans to make things happen and before you know it, your in a deeper shit hole then when you started.

Of course it’s exhilarating to have a crush and trust me, this sort of crush….can be explosive.

From smiling for no reason to singing your lungs out for the slightest indication of reactions from your source of attraction….boy do you have it bad…

Part 2 continued………….

Oh yes you do… You know you don’t want to pursue it even though every fiber of your being screams at you to do so..but the logical part of you (although I have very little of that part :P) begs you to turn a blind eye. You almost do when you control yourself from pursuing anything that pushes you towards the wave but like I said many times before, somethings are just unstoppable.

Cause when it comes to feelings….to matters that relate to the heart. You can toss all the logic out of the window because all things you should know or should know has no place in this whirlwind…I don’t care which book you read it from, which philosopher preached about it or whatever, really… cause when it comes to the heart ,there are no rules. For the so call rules will be bent, pushed, turned-upside down and in the worst case scenario, it will be broken bit by bit, as if the whole notion of it was ridiculous to begin with…

So what do you do? Do you allow the waves to come crashing down on you? Sweeping you away to the shore? Do you allow it to take you over? Well, it really depends doesn’t it?

How will I know? How will you know?

That is just it! You don’t.

What you got to do is either let it happen naturally or fight against it with every fiber of your being.

For there is no money back guarantee, no replacement, no substitution, no time clock reversal or anything of the sort.

If you go with it and it happens, as Veehchirra, a fellow bloggers says, it could be the best love story ever written or a big disaster waiting to happen.

Either way, you decide.

Fatal attraction or not.

It’s is your call, as the power is within your grasp.

Whether it makes you or breaks you is a whole different story altogether.

Watch this btw…awesome tribute to Whitney and be-fitting to this post 😛 How Will I know?